A is for Beautiful

Recouperating:
I got back from the beach Monday afternoon after a long bachelorette weekend with my sister and some of her friends. It was a lot of fun, but made me realize how old I am getting to be. We had dinner at an oyster bar, an awesome scavenger hunt in costume, manicures and pedicures, a fun lingerie shower, dinner at the Melting Pot, a night out dancing at a piano bar, pizza and girly movies, and lots more fun. I can’t believe my little sister is getting married! The craziest thing that happened was while we were out at the bar we started talking to a group of guys, one of which turned out to be the son of the preacher that is marrying my sister. Pure craziness.

Working:
Since I wasn’t able to find a teaching job for this school year, I’ve been getting ready to start substitute teaching in our public school system. I had to go to a half-day orientation class, get a physical and TB test, get drug-testing done, etc. I’ve also started babysitting/nannying two boys after school each afternoon from 1pm-5pm. It will be great to have the much-needed extra bill money, but it’s going to take me a while to get adjusted to working again and feeling exhausted all the time. Plus, my house will suffer from me being gone all the time…

Loving:
I am just in love with the Fall 2008 line of Chez Ami clothing I just started selling. The Halloween outifts are SO CUTE and one-of-a-kind and the best part is that hosts and consultants can get them for almost half off. I’m really excited about that. I can’t wait to actually get my hands on my trunk of clothes to see how well they’re made. I’ve heard that they last longer and have a much higher resell value than almost all other children’s clothing and besides they’re made in the USA. You can’t say that about the clothes you’ll find at the mall or Target these days. I am also excited about getting Jules some fall school clothes that have her monogram on them (and maybe a Christmas outfit or two). So adorable!

Reading:
I’m really into the Twilight series now. I’m currently almost finished with the second book, “New Moon.” I need to get started on our next book club book as well (”Mrs. Perfect“). For now, I keep imagining Edward’s cool lips on my neck. ;o)

Worrying:
I’ve been worrying about Julianna being a flower girl in seven short weeks. She’s got the concept down pat and whenever we drive by the church she recites voluntarily all that she’s going to do at Seth and Whitney’s wedding. I’m just worried about her seeing all of those people in there and freezing. We actually went by the church today and had the first “practie run” with her. She goofed off and danced around happily, but it will be much different come October I’m certain. Anyway, we’ll keep practicing.

Planning:
I’m pretty sure I’m going to try to walk the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon in February. I’ve got a friend or two who may committ to doing it with me, I just need to come up with the $60 registration fee and the conviction to do it. I’m hoping that if I walk one first then I may have the motivation to try to run one shortly after that. We’ll see. Anyone else want to join me? Come on. It’ll be fun!

One day last week I was upstairs taking a shower and Julianna was quietly playing in her room. She almost always watches a video while I’m in the shower so right before I got in I turned one on for her just in case she came in my room while I was still in the shower.

Well, halfway through my shower she comes up to the shower door hysterical. As it turns out, she was having a fit because she didn’t want me to turn the video on. She wanted to just lay in her room. Obviously, I wasn’t going to stop my shower to go turn a movie off when she could go to her room and not be bothered by it at all. I told her I would turn it off as soon as I was done. She stopped crying and left the bathroom and I thought that was the end of it.

Apparently, I was wrong. Shortly thereafter I heard her storming down the steps. When Igot dried off and dressed I went downstairs to find her sitting calmly on the couch watching TV and blatantly ignoring me. I noticed immediately that my computer was shut which is off limits to Jules unless I am helping her with it. She knows those rules.

I gently asked her, “Jules, who closed my computer?”

She replied, “Pilot Paula.”

(Pilot Paula is one of her favorite Little People.)

I asked again, “Julianna, who closed my computer?”

“Pilot Paula.”

More firmly now I asked, “Julianna, Pilot Paula can’t close Mommy’s computer. Who closed it?”

“Pilot Paula closed your ‘puter!”

So we had our first lesson in telling stories. After I explained to her that when little girls don’t tell the truth they have to go sit in time, out she finally did own up to closing the computer herself. We talked about how she had been angry at me for not turning off the video, but that she knew the rules and she shouldn’t have touched my computer without asking me. Unfortunately, I think since it was still kind of funny to her she did tell me all about it again about 30 minutes later. She said, “Pilot Paula closed your ‘puter, Mama” and then laughed.

I realize that “truth” and “lying” are huge concepts for little kids. I know that this is only the beginning of dealing with this kind of situation and while it was kind of amusing the first time it happened, I know I will get sick of it very soon. I just can’t believe that she managed to come up with something like that at such a young age! I was truly shocked! Little kids are doggone creative!

Do you remember telling your first lie? Or better yet, do you remember getting caught in your first lie? How about when your kids told their first lies? Were they 2 1/2?

I sent my baby off to her first day of preschool for the second time this morning. It was a little easier than this time last year. She was certainly more ready to go even if I wasn’t quite “ready.” I know she’s in good hands, but it’s still hard. I think to some extent it always will be even though it gets easier each year.

She had to take her beloved Lucy today. I convinced her that today would be the only day that she would get to take Lucy. I remember last year we managed to convince her to take Elmo since we were worried that Lucy may get lost or too dirty to return home. Now it seems that she might be OK without Lucy so I was willing to let her take her just this one day. She didn’t cry or resist going in the classroom at all today like I expected her to. In some ways that made it a little harder.

Yesterday, at the orientation meeting she was VERY bashful and clingy. She said, “Mommy, I don’t want you to leave.” I told her, “I won’t leave you today, Sweetie, ” to which she replied, “I don’t want you to leave another day, Mommy.”

And she almost never calls me Mommy.

So yeah. Today was not so bad. At least not nearly as bad as it could have been. And I get to go pick her up again in just 2 short hours.

Dear Julianna,

Yesterday you turned 29 months old, but you act more like a 4 year old. It’s getting so much harder to describe your personality in these monthly letters by just telling a few stories because you are such a unique person with so much more to you than just a few cute anecdotes. It’s just so hard to capture your individuality in words. I’m not sure that anyone really understands unless they really know you. You are so you.

We spent last month at the beach with Nanna and Pap and sometimes Daddy, Aunt Whit, and Uncle Seth and I neglected writing your monthly letter. After all that had gone on during the previous weeks it was easy to be very self-absorbed and just sit down and write to you. It was even harder to adjust when we got back home and I just never got it written. So now I have to try to sum up two months worth of changes I saw in you and that’s no easy task, but I’ll try!

When we were at the beach you were completely in your element. You constantly told us, “I need, I need to go see the fish” or “I need, I need to go feed the ducks” or “I need to go to the swimming pool.” You apparently confused needs and wants, but that’s OK.

Your vocabulary has grown in leaps and bounds. This month you’ve been working on using the words “remember” and “favorite” – two big concepts for a 2 year old to understand. I do think you’re getting there though. You’ve told me about your favorite TV show (SuperWhy and Yo Gabba Gabba), your favorite song (strangely, it varies from day to day), and surprisingly your favorite friends (Brady and Collin). You often say you don’t remember where it is when I ask you about something. I’m so impressed.

You’ve also grown so much taller. Just while we were at the beach you grew almost an inch! We’ve had to really stretch out the use of some of your summer clothes these past few weeks so we won’t have to spend more money on clothes you’ll only wear for a little while.

As you start school again at the end of this week, you’re getting so excited about it and I’m getting worried about what shoes your feet will fit into!  You talk about playing on the playground and singing songs at school. I’m so glad that you like school since I always did. I’m sad that I’ll have less time with you each day, but at the same time I think being in the structured environment is so good for you and I honestly look forward to the little breaks it gives me.

Jules, I have kissed and hugged and loved on you so much over the past four weeks and I have been so blessed by your smile. Each night I thank God that you’re my little girl and I revel in the wonder of your life. I’m not sure that you know why Mommy has been so lovely lately, but I know it’s because I feel guilty for taking you for granted sometimes. I’m so lucky to have you and now that I’ve really realized it, it’s so easy to shower you with love.

I’ve been working on finding a job so much lately and I’ve been under a lot of stress because of it. School has already started for the big kids so it doesn’t seem that I’ll get a teaching job this year. This past Sunday I went to talk with a family about serving as their Nanny. It would have been a more than full-time job caring for the two little kids and you would have had to be shuffled around quite a bit to accommodate that work schedule although the extra money from a full-time job would help us out A LOT. I was sitting there later that night agonizing over a decision about it as I watched you and Daddy wrestle on the floor, weighing the pros and cons while watching you soak up all the attention he could give you. I realized quickly that no matter how much trouble we are in financially, you’ll only be my baby once and that you still need me. Any family that I’m going to work for full-time - that’s not my own family – is going to have to pay me mighty well to make it the best choice for you and me, kiddo. I turned down the job earlier today and now I’m considering other part-time nanny options. The money won’t be as good, but I won’t have to sacrifice so much to get it.

One day recently you declared, “I want you to marry me, Mommy!” and I followed your stare to a picture from mine and your Daddy’s wedding. With all the talk of being a flower girl in three short months, you’ve already got Wedding Brain. You say things all the time that make me smile, like “I be beautiful in a pretty blue dress and I walk down the aisle…” and “Aunt Whitney’s getting married in that church!” Julianna, I want you to know that you and me? We’re better than married. We have a mommy-daughter bond that no one can ever touch or change. I’ll be standing beside you always, here whenever you need me.

I love you Doodlebug.

Love,
Mama